Leafing through pages of photo albums triggers memories of special places, special people, and special events, but pictures do not tell the whole story. What sounds filled summer nights at camp? What smells permeated Mother’s garden in spring? What tastes tempted tongues at Grandmother’s holiday feasts? Why not capture these sensory images in stories that will last a lifetime?

When I was teaching, one of my high school students told me how her grandmother filled several notebooks with writings that ranged from her high school days to her ninetieth birthday. Her grandmother recorded her first date with her future husband, her marriage, her children’s births, her grandchildren’s births, and most other landmark events of her life. Reading her grandmother’s thoughts and feelings dazzled this young girl.

WRITE THE SNAPSHOTS OF LIFE shows you how to create an heirloom of memories. First you produce the “negative,” your first draft. Then you “develop” it and craft it into a story, the final draft. You accomplish this by rewriting and using a new skill with each rewrite. As you write and remember, your album and your writing skills will grow.

People often ask me about the purpose of memoir writing. In other words, “What’s the point?” Research shows people who write about stressful situations lower their blood pressure and increase their T-cell production, and that boosts the immune system. Maybe there are parts of your past lurking deep within that threaten your well-being because you have not let them go. If an unpleasant memory causes you angst, write it down. This is the first step in getting rid of the past’s poison. Once you have written it, read it aloud. Listen to your own words and decide if you want to keep them as part of your life or throw them away both physically and mentally.

When you have cleansed yourself of hurtful memories, start writing pleasant ones. Recalling memorable people and happy events of the past takes the mind away from everyday annoyances such as bills, traffic jams, unreasonable bosses or teachers, final exams, technological malfunctions, and other irritations of life in the twenty-first century. Remember, dwelling on stress and negativity only harms the body and psyche, so let go of the negative and embrace the positive memories. Write the snapshots of life for the health of it. Boost that immune system!

I told you how much a young girl enjoyed reading her grandmother’s memories, so why not start recording your memories for your heirs? Write memories in an attempt to understand another person or to help you understand yourself. Start writing just to enjoy the power of words. Writing will enhance your life.

In her book, BIRD BY BIRD: INSTRUCTIONS ON WRITING AND LIFE, Anne LaMott says of memoir writing:

Even if only the people in your writing group read your memories or novel, even if you only wrote your story so that one day your children would know what life was like when you were a child and you knew the name of every dog in town—-still, to have written your version is an honorable thing to have done.

Your memory overflows with pictures of the past so decide which ones you want to develop. Since this will be an ongoing project, you may want to purchase a three-ring binder to use as an album. When a story is ready, punch holes on the side of the paper and place in the album.
Now, leaf through your memory’s faded photographs.

PICTURES OF THE PAST

People: Think of family members and something they did. Someone may have an eccentric aunt who jumps from airplanes or a cousin who fights alligators in the Everglades of Florida. Although their adventures create some unforgettable stories, your simple, everyday events can be just as memorable. Was there ever a time you fell and skinned your knee? Maybe you were with your grandmother, and she cleaned it for you, put medicine on it, and kissed it. Then you curled up in her lap, and she read you a story. Focusing on simple, everyday events often makes the best memories. Do you remember a best friend from high school, a favorite teacher, a neighbor? Think of all the people who have weaved in and out of your life. Write about them.

Feelings: Maybe you harbor anger toward someone, and every time you think of that person, you seethe with hatred. Replaying past events and allowing them to cause you stress harms you and your life right now. Recognize feelings such as anger, sadness, shame, embarrassment, helplessness, or worthlessness. Come to terms with those feelings, write them down, and then let them go. What has happened cannot be changed, so do not waste time and energy stewing about the past. As Lady MacBeth said, “What’s done is done.” You will soon discover that writing about your feelings helps you understand them better. Never underestimate the therapeutic value of writing.

How about all the good feelings life offers like love, gratitude, happiness. Thinking and writing about happy moments will calm your mind and reduce your stress. Write about the memory that is making you smile right now!

Places: Did you ever spend a vacation at a special place where something memorable happened? You may have fond memories of a beach, a park, a woods, a mountain. Maybe a place is associated with a person or a feeling. For example, a grandmother can be associated with her house and a feeling of comfort while visiting her.

Objects: Do you remember a school, a church, a hospital, a car, a toy, a bicycle, a book, a movie? What memories come to mind when you think of them?

Clothes: Did you ever wear a uniform, a gown, a fur coat, a tuxedo? Do you remember a favorite Halloween costume or a favorite football helmet? Maybe you had a favorite pair of shoes, favorite sneakers or hiking boots. What made them so special? What about your first pair of high heels?

The first of something: Do you remember your first day of school, your first haircut, your first crush, your first date?

Senses: Smells may remind you of a special holiday food; a sound may remind you of a song sung in choir; a taste may remind you of your mother’s chocolate chip cookies fresh from the oven; a sight of a young child being scolded may remind you of a day you disobeyed your father and ended up in trouble, or a touch may remind you of a lick a puppy planted on your face.

Food: Preserve your favorite foods with words instead of pickling spices. Favorite family recipes accompanied by memories of a special meal are priceless. Do you remember who cooked the meal? Who ate? Who washed the dishes? Who cleaned up? Who complained? If cooking is your forte, use food as a theme and create a cook book for family and friends full of your savory sauces and luscious desserts, all topped with your love.

Landmark events: Do you remember dancing at a wedding, grieving at a funeral, graduating from high school or college, giving birth? How about landmark birthdays…turning 10, 16, 21, etc. Remember getting your license to drive?

World events: Do you remember how you felt when two planes crashed into the World Trade Center in New York City on 9/11/01? Did members of your family or any friends serve America in a war? Did a medical breakthrough save someone in your family?

As you see, memories fill lives. I read an essay that reflects the significance of recording family history. Phyllis von Linden, the author, graciously granted me permission to use it. When you read it, you will see how important it is for you to write your life’s stories:

PRESERVE FAMILY HISTORY
Phyllis von Linden

Her name was Rosie. Last name, well, I’d know if I heard it, but the spelling’s beyond me.

“She came with us on the boat from Europe,” my mother said.


Me: “Mom, I thought you were born in Cleveland.”
“Oh, this was after my father died and Mother and I went over to visit her family. I was 14 and so was Rosie, and she came back to the States with us.”

What a story! I’d heard the name many times. Why didn’t I ever ask the questions now boiling in my head?

Who was Rosie? A relative, perhaps? What took her away from home, alone? Was this sort of behavior customary in 1905? What sort of place were Grandma and Mom visiting in pre-World War 1 Bohemia? Where was Bohemia, anyhow? (Trust the Web: Bohemia is now the Czech Republic).

Questions, questions, but no answers because there’s no one alive who could give them. In our immediate family circle, only two of my generation remain—my cousin Marie is 98; I am 87. And the question we often ask each other now is: “Why didn’t we ask about this when we could?”

Some families have their own folklore passed along from one generation to the next. Ours, I guess, was too busy keeping current or trying to get a little bit ahead to preserve any of the past except, well, there’s a long, long strand of coral beads I’ve always intended to “do something” with. Mother wore them on that long ago homeward voyage to avoid paying duty. There’s grandfather’s gold-headed cane now in my son’s collection. Of the people behind these artifacts I know nothing.

Younger folks sometimes tend to boredom if family history is paraded out as the oldsters swap, “I remember” and “In my days.” Especially now, as the rapidly moving 20th century speeds into the 21st, it may seem there’s no time to spare for reminiscence unless it refers to some earth-shaking event like the invention of the computer or the assault on the World Trade Center. But one way or another, our families of ordinary or extraordinary people have survived the very dailiness of life or we wouldn’t be here; it’s these little vignettes of how they did it that we need to hang onto and pass along.

Sometimes—if we only knew them—family stories might be a comfort in times of stress or spark a new goal or teach a life lesson. Sometimes, they prove there is indeed nothing new under the sun.

Marie recalls: “My widowed mother always rented our extra bedroom to a man because she said men didn’t have so many odds and ends to strew around. When I was 15 or so, the current roomer got ideas, and one day he chased me around the dining room table. Of course I never told.”

Historians chronicle wars and bewail the apparent historical illiteracy of today’s students. What I’d like to know is how commonplace people named Weil or Teller or von Palm or von Linden paid their bills, did their laundry, housebroke their children and pets. How did two young Germans of the minor nobility end up shortly after the Civil War in this isolated Schoharie County farmhouse I live in today?

The gathering of oral histories has become a significant occupation usually focusing on the life experiences of people in crisis, such as military veterans and Holocaust survivors. The Library of Congress, many universities and private organizations are amassing valuable records for which students and researchers of the future will be grateful. Most of us, if we could, would be asking the questions and listening to the true stories that would enrich our lives and those of our own descendants.

For this New Year what better way to celebrate auld lang syne?

See how important it is to preserve your memories? Now go ahead and choose a memory. Write your thoughts and feelings. Keep writing. Do not worry about grammar, spelling, or punctuation. Worry about them later. Right now, just write. If you are having trouble getting started, look over those “pictures of the past” again and write examples for the ones that you will turn into personal essays.

When you get your thoughts down, read Chapter 2 to see the next step in developing your story.